Trailtalk

Trailtalk

Your Emotional Sherpa®

Play Outside: The Healing Power of Nature

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This month, we look to nature to find joy, solace, solutions, comfort, and more. Our team of therapists reviewed and chose a wonderful collection of resources investigating and reporting on the benefits of accessing nature daily. Just getting outside and moving your body to clear your mind elevates our mood.

  1. How Nature Impacts Our Wellbeing – The University of Minnesota outlines some great methods in which nature heals, soothes, restores, connects us. How can being in nature reduce stress? Read the full article here.
  2. Bouldering Psychotherapy – Nature can help us escape the daily grind through many outlets. This article discusses how climbing and bouldering can force you to live in the moment and focus only on your task/activity. It proves to be very cathartic and beneficial in treating depression. Read the full article here.
  3. Atlanta Connects Outdoors – Thrive Outside Atlanta works to build and strengthen networks focused on providing children and families with repeat and reinforcing experiences in the outdoors. Their new initiative, “Sensory with Soils,” provides youth a learning opportunity from merely playing in the dirt. Read the full article here.

Check out this publication about how nature heals our souls in Science of Forest Therapy.

Reboot, Reset and Restore in the great outdoors.  Spending time in nature helps us reframe and recalibrate our waypoints. 

Follow the journey of the Emotional Sherpa® in our blogs for more insight into how moving your body in nature clears your mind.

A classic quote for the legendary trailblazer, Chief Seattle, “take only photos and leave only footsteps.” 

Peace and continued good health as you seek solace outside in your communities. Happy trails!

Connecting to a mental health therapist on or off the Trail.

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Mental health counseling has come a long way since Freud. Unlike the psychoanalytic therapists in the old days, this therapist is looking at his client. Freud sat behind his patients smoking cigarettes. Eye contact wasn’t part of the psychoanalytic process at that time in history. The therapist was considered a blank slate or sounding board. After the client talked and talked to the therapist behind their head, they’d finally hear, “well, let me tell you what I think.” The therapist interpreted what the client told them about their lives and current struggles. Talk therapy is still popular and works for many people. Times have changed, and so has mental health care counseling.

The blank slate approach doesn’t create a safe space for self-disclosure for many of us. I think it helps to know that our therapists suffer from the same “human condition.” That doesn’t mean I need to know everything about my therapist’s personal life, but I want to know they have experienced stressors and other traumatic life events. A relationship with a therapist is unique. It’s the most essential part of the therapy experience. We want to feel safe, understood and, at the same time, challenged. 

Turning the mirror towards ourselves and looking at how we show up in our lives is hard. Finding the right therapist to facilitate your journey is vital.

Before you choose a therapist, do some investigating. What kind of therapy do they practice? What type of issues does the therapist typically treat?

Then, meet with a couple of therapists you’ve reviewed online. The client-therapist relationship is the key to a successful therapy experience. Connecting with someone you trust and feel safe with is where it all starts. Once that connection is established, the work begins.

See this site for details about choosing the right therapist for you.

What does it mean to be emotionally well? It means functioning in and interacting with the world. Can you carry on day after day, interacting with others while at the same time dealing with stress, conflict, or problems? Here are some additional questions to ask yourself about your mental health.

  1. Can you make and maintain relationships with your peers?
  2. Are you functioning well and feeling satisfied with your work or school performance?
  3. Can you be humorous?
  4. Are you able to adapt and change when necessary?
  5. Do you like yourself?
  6. Can you identify your strengths and weaknesses?
  7. Can you deal with conflict?
  8. Do you have a variety of coping strategies to draw on when you’re stressed?
  9. Can you accept responsibility for your actions?
  10. Can you problem-solve?
  11. Are you able to reason and think clearly?
  12. Do you have insight into what’s happening to you or around you?
  13. Are you able to make judgments about your choices and what is best for a situation?
  14. Have you contemplated questions about the purpose of life?
  15. Do you have self-control over your emotions and behavior?

Mental wellness is a dynamic process, just like our physical health. We all move in and out and along a continuum of both mental and physical wellness. Accessing support for our emotional health is becoming more acceptable. It’s about time, wouldn’t you say? The adage, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”, is just that, outdated thinking. Trailtalk hopes everyone will seek out emotional support when they need it. That is taking action and responsibility for our life journey. 

Check out this website to learn more about mental health.

Peace and good health to you and yours, The Emotional Sherpa. 

 

 

 

Are you SAD? When the seasons change, so do our moods

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If you are more sluggish and cranky than usual these last few weeks, it could be related to the shorter days, less exposure to sunlight, and colder temperatures. 

A 2008 study by J. Denison and colleagues looked at how temperature, wind power, sunlight, day length, precipitation, and air pressure affected mood. Over 1,000 people completed online diaries he linked with weather station data. The researchers determined changes in temperature, wind, and sunlight had negative effects on mood. Seems obvious to those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  Waking up in the dark makes it harder to get out of bed. The snooze alarms on our phones work overtime during this time of year.  Shorter days cause high carb food cravings. Many of us start packing on the pounds as winter approaches. Holiday food feasts add insult to injury.

We, humans, fall out of emotional wellness during stressful life events. Much like getting a physical illness. Our immune systems get overwhelmed by a virus and we fall ill. We aren’t necessarily terminally ill but we need help and support with our recovery back to wellness.  It’s the same with our changing moods. The continuation of COVID’s social distancing and other restrictions has compounded has tipped the scale where our stressors overwhelm our coping strategies. Trailtalk’s Rocketman knows that fear resides in the past (would of, could of, should of thinking) and in the future (creating outcomes, worst-case scenario thinking).  We all fall out of balance when we thoughts time travel.  Living in the present moment, mindfully is where we find our baseline level of contentment.

Like Malcolm Gladwell says in his book, The Tipping Point, it’s all about time at task. We have to practice changing our thinking if we want to change how we feel and act. See your therapist if you want to learn about the think, feel, act cycle. Some of us need more than therapy during the changes of season. If you have a family history of depression and anxiety, contact your medical provider for additional support.

Here are a few TIPS from the TRAIL to help with SAD:

1. Try adding additional light to your morning routine for 20-30 minutes. Get a SAD Therapy LightBox. Look for a lightbox 10,000-lux light that is specifically used for seasonal affective disorder. We have a couple listed on our website store. Check Costco and Amazon. The key is to use it daily. Talk to your medical provider or therapists if you need help choosing the right light box for your morning routine.

2. Take extra Vitamin D. Ask your medical provider for a simple blood test before you start a supplement, so you know how much to take every day. Even if you are an avid outdoors person, the use of sunscreen prevents us from absorbing adequate amounts of Vitamin D.  Low vitamin D means low serotonin, which means low mood.

3. Get a Carhartt jacket or other type of warm snow clothes, a pair of yaktraxs, boot heaters, hand warmers, and hit the trails!  According to the Scandinavians, “there’s no such thing as bad weather, it’s just bad clothing.”

4. Find an accountability partner who will be waiting on you to slip on the snow boots and meet them outside. Walking and talking in nature heals. Move your body and clear your mind.

If adding light therapy to your morning routine, taking vitamin D, getting outdoors every day for even 30 minutes doesn’t lift your mood, seek out an emotional tuneup with a therapist. Weather changes can affect our moods, but some of us have depression and mood shifting all year round. Get help and make this season brighter for you and your loved ones.

Peace, love, health, and hope to you during this season of change,

The Emotional Sherpa

References:

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/seasonal-affective-disordeDenissen, Jaap J. A.; Butalid, Ligaya; Penke, Lars; van Aken, Marcel A. G.

Emotion, Vol 8(5), Oct 2008, 662-667. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0013497

Pandemic PAUSE button: How I changed my thinking to improve my College experience

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This year has been a challenge for everyone around the world, in a multitude of ways. I can’t necessarily speak to the problems that have arisen for others, but I can talk about my experience. I am heading into my junior year at St. Lawrence University, a semester I didn’t know if I’d get to experience. And to be honest, I still won’t really know how I will attend or not attend school. College is such an informative and crucial time of life. It’s a rite of passage. My classmates and I have had to mourn the loss of our lives as we knew them. We lost our connections with our professors and friend groups, canceled sports games, and on-campus festivals are a thing of the past. These activities and routines are so essential to our experiences. But here are!
In March, I returned from spring break and found out I would be completing the semester online. At first, I was kind of excited, not going to lie. College online means I can sleep in (and in my own bed), and be with my family and dogs! That excitement lasted for about a week. Then, reality set in. It wasn’t long until I found myself starting classwork at 2:30 in the afternoon (which also happens to be my sleepy time).  I wasn’t motivated to get much done. After a few days of lacking luster, doing the bare minimum, and binge-watching my current Netflix series, I decided I needed to do something.

Here are a few Tips from the Trail from Josie:
1. Add novelty and fun into every day. I started with something small. I  make chocolate chip cookies or muffins. It gives me something to do and well, who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies. Then to offset all the cookies I was eating, I decided I’d do my schoolwork until ten and then go work out.

2. Create routines. And, work out! Exercise is a mood elevator. Working out motivates me to find things to do for the rest of the day. I started to read (and drool) recipes by various food bloggers, and then I’d make their sweet treats or entrees. It was so much fun! And my parents enjoyed the constant fill of treats around the house. It wasn’t long before I found myself learning new things. I began painting, turning old jewelry into unique jewelry, and reading (and re-reading) all the books on my bookcase. When it got warmer out, I spent a lot of time sitting on the deck reading or taking long walks into the woods with our new puppy!

3. Explore new ways of finding joy.  What I think has been the most impactful about this experience is that I’ve had the time and space to explore new things I wouldn’t usually have been interested in doing. Boredom really can take you to some fantastic places. At first, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves, and sometimes it was stressful to always be around your family. Finding new activities was my escape, and then when I could be outside, that was my escape.

4. Be outside as much as possible. I  found I was much happier when I kept my mind and body engaged throughout the day. I grew up in the great outdoors. It’s where I feel the most grounded and clear about who I am as a human being. It’s not about doing, it is about being.

Let’s allow ourselves time to mourn the lives we once called normal. And at the same time, celebrate the fact that we  are still alive! We can even find normalcy and joy in a world of chaos!

PS: Hold loosely to outcomes. Read more here about how to live mindfully in the present moment.

Peace and good health to you, Your Emotional Sherpa.®

Self Care? Who has time?

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How many times have we heard those words? If you are a parent, that will be hard to do in an airplane emergency. We incline to rescue our children, take care of others first, and attend to ourselves after. When you spend your life as the caretaker, there comes a time when you get weary. Where’s the nurse when the nurse needs care? If you grew up taking care of people, how you feel love is tightly twisted up in caring for others. We heard what a good girl or boy we were when we did the right thing and rescued or nurtured someone in need. Of course, it feels good to get outside ourselves and love others unconditionally.  On the other hand, when it’s our only mode of operation, it is a double-edged sword. The “don’t rock the boat” kind of people and the “avoid confrontation, make sure everyone is happy” person has an impossible job. We can’t make people happy. We can’t save others from themselves. We can’t do someone’s journey for them in hopes of saving them from discomfort or failure. The more we enable, the more we suffocate the person we are trying to protect.

Turning Facetime toward ourselves is hard. Why are you telling me I am doing something wrong when I care so much about helping others? I give of myself all the time, to everyone, and you have the nerve to tell me that’s not OK?

Yup, I am. Giving to others can be an addiction like all other addictions. We have to do it because we have to prove we are not selfish. We want to make sure people know we are “good guys.” Again, feeling love is often twisted up in ways of behaving; in long-held patterns, we learned from our family of origin. Well, when is it ok and how do I know the difference?

Answer these questions:

1. Do you feel angry when you are not recognized for doing a good deed?

2. Are there conditions attached to your giving? You owe me. You owe me respect or love or recognition that I am a good person.

3. Do your loved ones suffer from your giving? OMG, it’s Christmas Eve and I haven’t gotten any gifts for the family. Aren’t Toys for Tots, the Lions Club giving, and the Salvation Army bell ringing enough for you?

4. Do you have a hard time asking for help when you need it? No, I had surgery, but I am ok. I can pull a dinner party together tonight. Yes, I am homesick. Don’t bother; I don’t need anything. Then inside, you wish someone would take care of you without being asked. Mind reading and wishful thinking are common thought errors.

5. Are you angry and bitter because you never get heard? Are you a people pleaser who wants everyone to like you? It’s a tough cycle to break because when you learn new skills and do use your voice, you change the family dance, your partners get pissed and want you to go back to the original steps they find comfortable. Your loved ones might ask, why are you rocking the boat? You are a stable one in this dance. Get back to your old self and stay in step with how we’ve always done our relationships.  If you stay silent and just go with the flow, over time those unaddressed issues stay harbored in our souls, sort of like the chickenpox. The varicella virus lays dormant in our spines until we are immunosuppressed, and all hell breaks loose. We get Shingles. And, Shingles hurt worse than the original case of Chicken Pox! Get what I mean?

Tips from the Trail™

  1. Here’s the Facetime trick – turn the camera toward yourself and kindly ask yourself (more about this in another blog), how often do I say I don’t care, or agree because it isn’t a big deal? For the time being, just notice the pattern. We’ll talk about how this style of showing up in a relationship causes problems over time.
  2.  Pick your battles. The thing is, you avoid conflict and don’t know when and how to turn toward someone who’s hurt your feelings, or violated a boundary.  Many of us avoid confrontation at all costs or, in other terms, address boundary violations because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. In turn, we get hurt, and that hurt accumulates, leading to relationship discord.
  3. Awareness is the first step in changing up our stories and improving our relationships. The next steps might require seeking support.
  4. Go for a walk and talk with a Trailtalk® therapist and learn how to retool your coping strategies and develop new relationship skills. Trailtalk therapists guide you in reevaluating various parts of your TRUE SELF to gain new competencies and an overall better sense of self. Moving from awareness to renouncing the original family dance and rebuilding new ways of showing up on the dance floor is vital in repairing our broken or damaged relationship.

I hope this helps. Please comment or ask questions if this post resonates with your current journey.  Thanks.

Life is daily. Enjoy your moments.  Happy trails! Allison

Music Speaks to My Soul

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Whether it’s playing or listening to music, many of us find solace in song. Music connects us. I like to find out what my clients listen to on a day to day basis. What’s their favorite genre? Do they follow any particular musician? When we drive in the TherapyontheFly® van, my clients connect their phones and we listen to their playlists. We explore the impact of music on our moods. Many of us can recall stages in our lives when we listened to certain bands or artists. I can think of several songs that connect me with my loved ones. When I hear different songs, I float back in time and recall great memories from past seasons of life.  The same holds true when I hear songs that remind me of sad times in my life. Some songs haunt me and I can’t listen to them to this day. Does that happen to you? Sounds, like smells, evoke strong emotions. We can access sounds and smells to improve our moods. 

What are you listening to these days? Do you have a positive playlist? That’s what we call a series of songs that lift our spirits. When I am scared or feeling insecure, I go to my positive playlist. It motivates me to question my thinking errors, get back to the present moment, and keep on keeping on.

Mike and his band, Hoi Ann, use music and intricate lyrics to illustrate scenes and emotions of everyday life. In their debut album, Cowboy, Hoi Ann investigates the presence of vices and how they weave themselves into habits and daily motivations. Mike explains:

We use a lot of imagery and metaphors to get our ideas across. For example, in the single, Edelweiss, we compare the edelweiss flower (from the Sound of Music classic) with an always present Idle Vice. As people listen, we want to invoke some thought. We want people to think about the vices in their life. Are there any in yours?

Listen to Edelweiss here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqScyqo9Sjo

Mike continues:

Beyond the songs, I find a lot of relief and meditation in the process of creating music. When life get’s hectic, and it always does, there is always a safe haven to retreat to. Some people find this in meditation, journaling, or prayer. When I can fully dive into a project and really analyze all the beats, notes, sequences, edits, etc. I find my worries have subsided, if only for a moment. It’s great. I think I work out a lot of problems as well. I write lyrics with the goal of finding clever ways to say difficult things. It helps me and I think it helps other people too.

Josie, Trailtalk’s summer marketing intern writes:

Music is different for everyone, but one thing we can agree on is that music is powerful. Music has the ability to pull back memories you haven’t seen in years, it has the ability to alter your mood, and it has the ability to bring people together. Music often provides answers to the questions we didn’t even know we had. Often whatever feeling you are feeling is described in a song, and sometimes the realization that you’re not alone in this feeling is enough to generate the strength to face it. Personally, I have found that it isn’t always the lyrics in music that elicit something in me, sometimes it is just the mood or tune of the music. The song “Are You Even Real?” by James Blake is a perfect example of this. I recently discovered this song and have been obsessed with listening to it. I think this is often the case with many people when they discover new songs, we may not know why we like it but we know it elicits some sort of joy when listening to it.

Listen to the song, Are You Even Real? here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL_-bakSRlc 

A Tip from the Trail

During this season of unpredictability, consider your current music choices. Sounds of any sort affect our moods. Background TV noise, sound machines, outside noises from sirens to construction is called disorganized sounds. I find myself agitated when I hear a cacophony of disconnected sounds. That’s when I grab my sound-canceling headphones or turn on a song that I know calms my mood.

We can learn a lot about ourselves and others based on our music choices. Let’s connect. Tell us what brings comfort to your soul? Share your favorite songs with us. Thank you and happy trails.

Here’s one of Allison’s favorite songs by Ben Howard. Listen here. 

Read more here about how music therapy changes our brains.

Happy trails until we meet again!