Trailtalk

Trailtalk

Your Emotional Sherpa®

We all need emotional support.

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The coronavirus is spreading rapidly in Utah, and while our physical health may be at risk – our mental health is vulnerable as well

If you can’t reach a TT therapist or need immediate help, please call 833-SPEAKUT, which is available from 8 am to 11 pm. If you are in crisis, call the 24/7 free and confidential Utah Crisis Line, in association with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK. Encourage youth to download the SafeUT app on their phone to access real-time crisis intervention through live chat.

Vivek Murthy — Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

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This comedic podcast that we recommend.

Vivek Murthy is an American physician and former vice admiral in the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps who served as the 19th Surgeon General of the United States. Vivek chats with the armchair expert about the health implications of loneliness, how his childhood as an outsider made him more compassionate and why he became interested in public policy. Dax wonders about the dilemma between liberty and equality on health legislation and Vivek talks about the biggest boat rescue in human history. He talks about what he learned from a patient who won the lottery and the lessons he’s taken from patients on their deathbeds.

Emotional Texting: STOP THE DRAMA!

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OMG!  “What did they mean by that? What do you think they are saying?”  “Why did they wait a day and a half to say this?”

Here are a few ideas about that unsatisfying text message you just read:

  1. They can’t spell.
  2. They don’t edit predictive texting.
  3. They’re watching football.
  4. They can’t, or don’t want to wax on eloquently like in romance novels.
  5. They missed the memo on how to send pithy, loving, and validating text statements.
  6. They are not mind-readers and wrote the text before pondering the meaning of life.
  7. The text came in at the same time they walked into a meeting or was posting the best photo ever on Instagram!

Here are a few ideas about what many think the person meant:

  1. They feel loved and validated by words of affirmation. Many of us feel loved when we are told nice things about ourselves. See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages.
  2. Their emotions guide their decision making, and the person fills in the blanks when they don’t have all the facts.
  3. The person lives in their head (those are the intellectual types) and they are overthinking the meaning of the text. Many of us look for reasons to not trust because we fear being hurt. Before we open up our heart to the chance of being hurt, we nip it in the bud.
  4. They are triggered by messages suggesting they are, not good enough, not smart enough, or are unlovable. Texting is like being fed crumbs of food. Like the plant named Aubrey 2 in Little Shop of Horrors, many of us need more and more and more, and it’s often exhausting for our partners when we want daily feedings of affirmation via text messaging all through the day.

Here’s the deal –   Emotional texting is a bad idea.

I’m not saying anything about good or bad ways of loving and living. I’m not judging anyone who needs words of affirmation. It happens to be one of my primary love languages.

What I am suggesting is emotional texting is akin to being fed crumbs when we’re starving.  Like in the movie Little Shop of Horrors, Aubrey 2 is insatiable!

“Feed me, Seymore, feed me all night long!

It’s hard to consistently affirm someone via text. Words alone just don’t work for those of us who read between the lines.  For some of us, words need to be accompanied by inflections and tones in our voices, and facial expressions. It’s about how we turn toward our partners and physically connect with them. Those crucial body cues, combined with words, is what feeds many of our souls.

So, what do we do about it? Here’s a Tip from the Trail encouraging us to open up a dialogue about how, and when we text each other.

When you first start a relationship, discuss your texting habits, and develop mutually agreed upon texting ground rules.

  • Come to an understanding about compartmentalizing your love life and work life. When you are at work, you are working and do not emotionally engage. Discuss respecting each other’s boundaries. It’s not about not loving each other, it’s about moving through our busy days, and not always having to work out emotional content at inappropriate times.
  • Consider not texting during work hours except for an agreed-upon, midday text of an emoji, or an “I love you” statement.  Talk about what those little emojis mean to each of you. Some guys hate them. Some women hate the emoji with the tongue hanging out. Sounds stupid, but these things matter to many of us. Discuss what works for you and what doesn’t, connect, and get back to work.

I hope this helps save a few relationships or start a new relationship with a clearer understanding of how texting can create unnecessary drama between two, well-meaning people.

Happy trails to you today,

Allison

Trailtalk® Park City launches TrailtalkRX: conservative medicine for active, functional individuals.

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Trailtalk Park City introduces new ways to meet the mental health needs of the Park City community during the COVID19 pandemic.  While the world continues to experience ongoing social distancing & economic uncertainty, many highly functional individuals find themselves struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mood changes that require medical intervention.

TrailtalkRX takes a scientific approach to the human genetic signature and embraces the latest advances in the industry to help qualify patients that will benefit from this treatment path. TrailtalkRX believes that we cannot ignore the science behind how powerfully intricate and important our brains are to our emotional wellbeing.

“Technology changes in every industry, and mental health is no different. We encourage our community to invest in their mental health and be open to new ideas and concepts.  Think of how often you update your computers and phones, buy new gear for your outdoor activities due to the latest advancement… When was the last time you had an emotional tuneup and learned what was available for your mental health?”  asks Allison Page, founder of Trailtalk.

Trailtalk Park City remains dedicated to offering outdoor, socially distanced Walk and Talk™ sessions to help clients recalibrate their internal compasses.  TrailtalkRX adds additional medicinal support if necessary. 

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Trailtalk® was founded in 2010 in Park City, Utah, with the mission to destigmatize mental health care. Trailtalk offers an alternative solution to traditional office/couch therapy, with their signature Walk and Talk™ sessions on local trails, parks, and paths.  A licensed therapist will meet you for an outdoor session along with their “Therapy on the Fly’” support van.  By taking therapy off the couch and onto the trail®, they enable their clients to experience the healing power of nature. Trailtalk now has 5 Trailheads (aka offices) in Utah and 1 in Colorado.  Trailtalk Park City accepts most major insurance carriers.  Learn more on trailtalk.com.