Trailtalk

Trailtalk

Your Emotional Sherpa®

Trailtalk is Resuming Walk & Talk Sessions in All Locations

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Please contact your Trailtalk location and therapist

Thank you for continuing to prioritize your emotional wellbeing during this challenging time.

In our efforts to protect the health and safety of our clients and staff and to remain in compliance with state, county, and DOPL regulations, the following will apply to our Walk and Talk appointments when they resume:

Walk and TalkTM Protocol:

1. Both Therapist and Client will need to wear a mask or suitable face covering at all times during the appointment. Trailtalk® is unable to supply masks, so clients will need to provide their own. If a client arrives at the appointment without a mask, the appointment can be done over the phone or Telehealth as an alternative during the scheduled time slot. If the client declines an alternative, they will be charged for a late cancellation.

2. Therapist and Client must maintain 6 feet of distance at all times. This means walking on sidewalks is not an appropriate option. Therapists will choose a trail or paved area, or a park to sit at that will allow for 6 feet of distance and maintain confidentiality.

3. No physical contact between Therapist and Client. This includes handshakes or other physical contact, borrowing phones, and accepting payment. All payments must be done through TheraNest.

4. Therapists and Clients are advised to use hand sanitizer or wash hands thoroughly before and after each session.

We wish you the best and hope for everyone’s continued health and safety. Thank you again for your patience as we navigate these changes.

We all need emotional support.

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The coronavirus is spreading rapidly in Utah, and while our physical health may be at risk – our mental health is vulnerable as well

If you can’t reach a TT therapist or need immediate help, please call 833-SPEAKUT, which is available from 8 am to 11 pm. If you are in crisis, call the 24/7 free and confidential Utah Crisis Line, in association with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK. Encourage youth to download the SafeUT app on their phone to access real-time crisis intervention through live chat.

Vivek Murthy — Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

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This comedic podcast that we recommend.

Vivek Murthy is an American physician and former vice admiral in the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps who served as the 19th Surgeon General of the United States. Vivek chats with the armchair expert about the health implications of loneliness, how his childhood as an outsider made him more compassionate and why he became interested in public policy. Dax wonders about the dilemma between liberty and equality on health legislation and Vivek talks about the biggest boat rescue in human history. He talks about what he learned from a patient who won the lottery and the lessons he’s taken from patients on their deathbeds.

Emotional Texting: STOP THE DRAMA!

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OMG!  “What did they mean by that? What do you think they are saying?”  “Why did they wait a day and a half to say this?”

Here are a few ideas about that unsatisfying text message you just read:

  1. They can’t spell.
  2. They don’t edit predictive texting.
  3. They’re watching football.
  4. They can’t, or don’t want to wax on eloquently like in romance novels.
  5. They missed the memo on how to send pithy, loving, and validating text statements.
  6. They are not mind-readers and wrote the text before pondering the meaning of life.
  7. The text came in at the same time they walked into a meeting or was posting the best photo ever on Instagram!

Here are a few ideas about what many think the person meant:

  1. They feel loved and validated by words of affirmation. Many of us feel loved when we are told nice things about ourselves. See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages.
  2. Their emotions guide their decision making, and the person fills in the blanks when they don’t have all the facts.
  3. The person lives in their head (those are the intellectual types) and they are overthinking the meaning of the text. Many of us look for reasons to not trust because we fear being hurt. Before we open up our heart to the chance of being hurt, we nip it in the bud.
  4. They are triggered by messages suggesting they are, not good enough, not smart enough, or are unlovable. Texting is like being fed crumbs of food. Like the plant named Aubrey 2 in Little Shop of Horrors, many of us need more and more and more, and it’s often exhausting for our partners when we want daily feedings of affirmation via text messaging all through the day.

Here’s the deal –   Emotional texting is a bad idea.

I’m not saying anything about good or bad ways of loving and living. I’m not judging anyone who needs words of affirmation. It happens to be one of my primary love languages.

What I am suggesting is emotional texting is akin to being fed crumbs when we’re starving.  Like in the movie Little Shop of Horrors, Aubrey 2 is insatiable!

“Feed me, Seymore, feed me all night long!

It’s hard to consistently affirm someone via text. Words alone just don’t work for those of us who read between the lines.  For some of us, words need to be accompanied by inflections and tones in our voices, and facial expressions. It’s about how we turn toward our partners and physically connect with them. Those crucial body cues, combined with words, is what feeds many of our souls.

So, what do we do about it? Here’s a Tip from the Trail encouraging us to open up a dialogue about how, and when we text each other.

When you first start a relationship, discuss your texting habits, and develop mutually agreed upon texting ground rules.

  • Come to an understanding about compartmentalizing your love life and work life. When you are at work, you are working and do not emotionally engage. Discuss respecting each other’s boundaries. It’s not about not loving each other, it’s about moving through our busy days, and not always having to work out emotional content at inappropriate times.
  • Consider not texting during work hours except for an agreed-upon, midday text of an emoji, or an “I love you” statement.  Talk about what those little emojis mean to each of you. Some guys hate them. Some women hate the emoji with the tongue hanging out. Sounds stupid, but these things matter to many of us. Discuss what works for you and what doesn’t, connect, and get back to work.

I hope this helps save a few relationships or start a new relationship with a clearer understanding of how texting can create unnecessary drama between two, well-meaning people.

Happy trails to you today,

Allison