Depression

Ever notice how life has a way of changing things up on you without asking? Have you ever had a well thought out plan go very wrong? Like you’re minding your own business and BAMM, something outrageous happens? You name the Life Event.  Most of us have been hit by at least one or maybe several of these life changing stressors by now.

Money, good looks, nor physical strength can shield us from these most unfortunate events. They cross all socioeconomic, and cultural borders. Who ever said life is fair? Life sometimes down right sucks. On the other hand, life can be taken away from us without warning.

Come on Allison, why such a depressing blog post? Well, let me tell ya’ (can you hear my John Wayne impersonation?) As many of you recall (that is if you are actually reading my blog) the Emotional Sherpa stepped off his original path searching for his TRUE SELF, and landed in a foreign country. His backpack was filled with supplies he needed for his planned adventure, which was not the adventure that happened. Not even close. Did you know, in a pinch, a silk sleeping bag liner can double as a beautiful Spanish shawl? Just picture it. Creativity is a must if you want to be a TRUE adventurer.

OK, so here’s a brief account of the most unfortunate events encountered by the Emotional Sherpa (EM) this last month. Like Alice through the looking glass, what a bizarre turn of events for the EM. The Way (El Camino) was well planned out. The Emotional Sherpa wanted to complete this 500 mile Pilgrimage. Life had an entirely different plan and gave the EM what he needed not what he wanted. The Sherpa needed to unplug, reboot, and recharge. EM did not need to walk under the pretense of resting. It took pretty much an act of God to take that Sherpa’s shoes off, and put his feet up in a resting position. And that’s what the Emotional Sherpa did. Control is an illusion you know.

Mary Oliver’s poem, Tripping Over Joy sums up The Way I needed it, not The WAY I wanted it.

Tripping Over Joy

~ Mary Oliver

“What is the difference between your experience with Existence and that of a Saint?

The Saint know that the spiritual path is a sublime chess game with God, and the Beloved has just made a Fantastic Move, that Saint is now continually tripping over joy, and bursting out in laughter, and saying, ” I surrender!”

Whereas, my dear, I am afraid you still think you have a thousand serious moves.”

That being said, here are a few Tips from the Trail for those of you who like to Bushwhack their way through the woods when you’d be better off sticking to the trail:

1. Know these fundamental words and phrases in the mother tongue of the foreign land you enter: help, please and thank you, pain, hot and cold, where’s the bathroom/wash closet?, can I have some privacy please?, do that to me again and I will kill you, more coffee please, where’s the closest ATM?, take me to your leader. Fuck is a universal word. No translation needed. And, I tried the phrase, “take me to your leader” and it didn’t work. Still worth knowing this phrase in different languages anyway. Also, web based translation apps are awesome when you have access to wifi. Wifi is not a given. Just sayin….
2. Clicking your heels 3 times and repeating, ” There’s no place like home” does not work. I tried it. I am so pissed at Judy Garland for lying to me year after year. Seek therapy if you, too have PTSD symptoms related to childhood trauma. What I am going to do is change up my Polyanna way of being and take on a more Columbo like mode of operation. It’ll be a subtle change for those of you who like my Polyanna world view.
3. Never let a loved one go to the hospital alone, especially in a foreign country. Medical advocacy is a must. Make friends with nurses, and doctors, and other health professionals if you don’t have them in your inner circle already. Just like many of us going to get our cars serviced. When you don’t know what their talking about, it’s easy to just let “the expert” do their thing. Trust me. Make friends with medically trained people, and question and challenge every procedure, diagnosis, and treatment plan. Share your wheel house with your friends and family, and access the wheelhouses of those with medical training.
4. Heard of Advanced Directives? Learn about them, read the fine print, discuss your wishes with your children if appropriate, and have them in writing. It’s a very lucky child who’s parents have put their affairs in order while they are still of sound mind and body. Luckier, if everything is paid for in advance! Sounds morbid and uncomfortable to discuss when mom and dad seem fine, and at the same time very important conversations to have in advance of an unexpected, unfortunate event.
5. Lastly, remember, “Every single day is a little life, and our whole life is but a day repeated. Therefore, live everyday as if it would be your last. Those who dare lose a day are dangerously prodigal; those who dare misspend it are desperate. ” ~ Joseph Hall.

See, Hear, Feel, Smell and Touch this day.

Happy trails to you and yours, Allison

Save

Save

Save

Save

I’m as cold as ICE!

Does your mood change with the weather? If you are more sluggish and cranky than usual, it could be related to the shorter days, less exposure to sunlight, and colder temperatures.

A 2008 study by J. Denison and colleagues looked at how temperature, wind power, sunlight, day length, precipitation, and air pressure effected mood. Over 1,000 people completed online diaries he linked with weather station data. The full research article is listed below. The researchers determined changes in temperature, wind, and sunlight had negative effects on mood. Seems obvious to those of us with seasonal affect disorder (SAD).  Once it’s darker in the mornings, many of us struggle getting out of bed. Those shorter days cause high carb food cravings, and we start packing on the pounds. Our Thanksgiving and Christmas food fests add insult to injury. No wonder we feel down. Ugh! What to do?

Here are a few  TIPS from the TRAIL to break this insidious cycle:

1. Get a SAD Therapy Light. Amazon has a ton of choices. Adding some additional light to your morning routine might improve the quality of your winter days.

2. Take extra Vitamin D. Ask your medical provider for a simple blood test first so you know how much to take everyday. Even if you are an avid outdoors person, the use of sunscreen prevents us  from absorbing adequate amounts of Vitamin D.  Low vitamin D means low seratonin, which means low mood.

3. Get a Carhartt or other type of warm snow clothes, a pair of yaktraxs, boot heaters, hand warmers,  and hit the trails! Grab a friend as you go out the door. According to the Scandinavians, “there’s no such thing as bad weather, it’s just bad clothing.”

4. If adding light therapy to your morning routine, taking vitamin D, getting outdoors everyday for even 30 minutes doesn’t lift your mood, consider seeing your medical provider and/or a therapist. Weather changes can effect our moods, but some of us have depression and mood shifting all year round. Get help and make this season brighter for you and your loved ones.

Peace, love, health, and hope to you this winter. And, happy trails,  Allison

Reference:

This holiday season is different for some of us. There’s an empty chair at the end of the table this year. Our hearts are hemorrhaging. We can’t stop crying.

How do we grieve during the holidays? How do we find joy when all we can think of is how much we miss our dad, brother, husband, wife, or friend?

It’s such a mix of emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety all at once are just too much to handle.

There are a lot of resources on the Internet suggesting ways to survive the holidays after loss of a loved one. Today’s Tips from the Trail offers up a couple of those ideas.

1. Give yourself and others permission to grieve. Trying to hold it together only makes things worse. Open up the dialog instead of dancing around the Elephant in the room. Talk about the “Empty chair” at the dinner table.

2. Create a new tradition to honor your loved one. Plant a tree, hang a stocking, or donate time to his/her favorite charity.

3. Seek counsel, find a support group. Grieving is a process. It’s different for everyone. There’s no time-table.

4. Self care is most important right now. Sleep, eat good food, get outside every day, and allow yourself plenty of down time.

Words can’t take away your pain. Grief has to happen. Allow it to pass through you.

Peace, love, health, and hope to you and yours, Allison.