Trailogy of the Emotional Sherpa #4: Tangled up in Blue
Tangled up in Blue
The Village of Weavers
The Emotional Sherpa hasn’t seen a soul this entire last week. He’s a social guy, and is feeling a bit lonely. As you recall from earlier episodes, the Sherpa is gaining an awareness about how he can’t do anyone’s journey but his own. Guiding less experienced hikers, and coming along side more seasoned hikers is fine, as long as he’s not trying to make it all better for them.
In other words, the Emotional Sherpa can’t save anyone from bad decision making. He can’t ensure anyone’s happiness or success. Even when he sees hikers walking into harm’s way, he is painfully aware he has no control over another hiker’s choices.
On the other hand, the Sherpa is coming to appreciate his real role in relationship with fellow sojourners. He offers encouragement, and wise wisdom when asked. If he asks for permission to lend his guidance and the other hiker declines the offer, the Sherpa bites his tongue, and watches the hiker head into sketchy territory.
We all know the average hiker is experiential! We’ve got to do it ourselves. I can hear my mother ‘s warning cry , “don’t touch the stove, Allison.” Well, guess what? I touched the stove and got burned. Ouch!! I will never touch a hot stove again, will I?
Life is designed for all of us to experience it our way. We have to fail in order to succeed. That’s how it works. I’m not saying parents and elders have no role. They do, and it’s a big one. It’s about modeling, not doing for someone. The Sherpa recalls hearing the saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” After all these years of fishing for others, the Emotional Sherpa is finally casting his line and his line alone. Sometimes it takes a long time for the light bulb to go on and for us to realize we can’t do life for others.
Control is pretty much an illusion. The outcomes in life are not in our control and that’s what makes life exciting and mysterious. When the Emotional Sherpa let’s go of trying to control outcomes, and focuses on the present moment, he finds contentment.
Back to the story. The Sherpa heads into the Village of Weavers. He will learn not all hikers will like him, or his decisions. As he continues on his solo journey, he will learn to love himself and be kind and compassionate to himself along the way. He will gain an understanding about how to live in the moment and not time travel into the past or into the future.
Stayed tuned to next week’s saga as the weaver’s work to entangle The Emotional Sherpa up in blue.
Happy trails, Allison